The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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