The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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