When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
![kelly mcgillis top gun. Kelly Ann McGillis (born July 9, 1957)[1] is an American actress](http://vicmackey.trakt.tv/images/people/13907.jpg)
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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