Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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