We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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